When Gus had refused to discuss the situation with her, she knew immediately that it was severe and permanent. He'd allowed her a good ten minutes in the ladies' room to cry her eyes out, and then gruffly offered a week of vacation. She'd taken it immediately and without guilt. But now, sitting alone on her back porch with a half-finished pack of Virginia Slims and an uncorked bottle of chianti, she wished she had the distraction of work to keep her mind occupied.

Olivia yearned to walk inside and talk to her son, but she didn't even know where to begin. She watched, disconnected, as her cigarette smoke spiraled up into the night sky and wished that Larry was still there with them.

~*~

He had no idea how to work the damn contraption. It was brand new on the market; Gus had called it a 'cam-corder' and given him basic instructions: "put the cassette in, make sure it's turned on, hit the button that says record. It's not rocket science."

His hands were restless, his mind filled with memories and regret. He could think of nothing but pale, freckled skin and an unruly cascade of butterscotch hair. That familiar voice, deep but still youthful; a subtle mishmash of regional accents that spoke of a nomadic life. The boy who held his heart had lived more in his nineteen years than many grown men.

Larry bent forward and fiddled with it until he saw the red light turn on. The motel room was dimly lit but it was the best he could do under the circumstances. He sat back on the bed and stared into the lens, hands resting on his knees. It was now or never.

"Hey kid," he began, halting. No. That wasn't enough.

"Hey baby. My sweet boy."

He smiled and blinked the moisture from his eyes. He felt ridiculous.

"I'm so sorry. I wish I could tell you more, but the less you and your mom know, the better. I ain't confessing to anything, plus plausible deniability and all."

Nervous, he ran a trembling hand along his thigh and paused to collect his thoughts.

"First off, I want you to know that if I get out of this clusterfuck I'm gonna make my way west. I've got an old friend out there who's real good in a jam. I'd trust him with my life."

The camcorder blinked soullessly at him and he felt like he was in a confessional booth.

"You're a great kid and you're gonna do well for yourself. If you decide to become a cop, I won't think any less of you for it. Gus tells me you have a natural talent for detective work."

Larry smiled crooked and stared down at the carpet.

"Just promise me you won't let them change who you are, okay? And don't ever forget that the guys you're after are men like you; just doing what's in their nature."

The words on the end of his tongue choked him. He had to force them out.

"You got my heart, kid. I'll wait for you. I figure at least five years or so ought to do it. Maybe ten. You need to figure life out on your own. But after that time, if you still feel the same, you know where I'll be. Or you can probably just ask Gus, if he's still around. I'm assuming that old bastard held up his end of the bargain and gave this to ya. I hope he told you to destroy this thing when you're done watching. Don't keep it for some bullshit sentimental reason."

He swallowed around the lump in his throat and looked back up into the camera.

"Tell your mom that she deserved much better than what I could give her. I've got more in me, but I'm afraid it only belongs to you."

The mattress creaked as he leaned forward to depress the button, whispering the agonized litany under his breath:

"I'm sorry, kid. I'm so sorry."

FIN

I can't tell you how thankful I am for this fic. Not just the time you put into it, but the characterizations that went even beyond Freddy and Larry. The slow build up of sexual tension and the culmination of it... MY GOD. (Thank you for including multiple sex scenes and not just making it the final denoument between these two.)

As for Olivia, my heart just broke for her. The entire time I was reading, I was waiting for the scene where she would "discover" them and lose it... and I'm so glad you didn't go that route. It's so much sadder to have it end with her mourning what she thought was a stable relationship and a healthy father-figure for her son.

But Freddy and Larry... OMG. So many issues, so little time. And that ending!! To have Freddy's final scene take place on that sidewalk just KILLED me, not to mention Larry's heart-breaking recording. Simply extraordinary.

xoxoxo

I hate that its over, but love how it ended. Will definitely be reading this one again and again.